Labour began with my first baby at 40 weeks = 4 days gestation. My husband and I had been for a long walk. When we returned just after 3.30pm I went upstairs and lay on the bed to read as I was tired. Within a few minutes I began to feel gentle tightenings in my belly but had no pain, so didn’t feel the need to change anything I was doing. By 5pm they were still happening and were about 2 minutes apart, so I told my husband that I thought this may be the start of something. I asked him to start dinner so we could eat in case things progressed quickly. I decided to go in the bath for a couple of hours with my book and chatted to a lovely friend on the phone about how exciting it was that the baby might be here soon. We laughed and joked and she timed my tightening for me. I still felt absolutely no pain. By 8.30pm the tightening were longer and stronger so we decided to call Becky, our doula. I suspected I might have been wasting her time, as there was still no pain, but with er experience, Becky knew it was time. I had always hoped I would birth overnight, free from the distraction of daily activities, bright lights, traffic noise and telephone calls.
With Becky on the way, my husband readied the bags and fed the cat. I put on my hypnobirthing anchor music, took myself to the corner of the bedroom and knelt at the side of the bed to breathe through my intensifying tightenings. My husband silently rubbed my back. I knew things were happening now and I was so excited. This was my time, my baby was coming!
Becky arrived and took over the massage. I was so pleased she was here, things had really ramped up during her journey. The three of us remained there, in the dark, for the next couple of hours. We called to let the hospital know so they could ready the birth pool and soon I knew we needed to go because the tightenings reached about 1 minute apart.
We arrived at the hospital at around midnight. I wanted to go in the pool straight away but unfortunately, I was denied as I had refused a vaginal examination. I thought carefully and decided to consent to one. They found me to be 1cm dilated and told me to go home. I explained that I could not move, so I definitely couldn’t go home. I knew I was in active labour, despite the findings of the examination. Becky, supportive as ever, asked to speak to the midwife outside. This was exactly why I decided to have a doula and Becky in particular, because I knew she would advocate strongly for me, given her previous testimonials and from what we had talked about antenatally.
Becky soon reappeared with cups of tea and toast and said we were ok to stay. We had asked the midwives to stay out of the room and they did. She turned off all the lights and made the room as cosy as possible, displaying my oxytocin board and getting out familiar blankets and pillows. Toast and tea are my favourite meal but I couldn’t touch it. I was in my birthing zone and in hindsight was entering transition. I had about half an hour of what I would describe as pain – I thought I was losing my mind a little and couldn’t think straight. I asked for drugs, Becky said okay, and then did nothing about it, as I would have wanted! Nothing was helping and I became a little upset. Becky encouraged me to get up. I was lying on my side after the examination) It took a great deal of effort and I held onto her as we swayed through it, my face buried in her neck. I was tired and was encouraged my Becky to take regular sips of sugary juice we had brought with us. I suddenly felt a huge pressure at my bottom – and Becky suggested we retreat to the bathroom, and I sit on the loo as that is a good position for labour. That’s when things changed – the sensations suddenly felt like they had some meaning: I was euphoric, like I was having an out of body experience. The whole world fell away and my inner warrior was released. I feel extremely emotional as I recall this, as it was totally joyful and empowering and yet almost impossible to describe. Incredible intense pressure coursed through my whole body in the most wonderful way. I roared like an animal with pleasure – it was so exciting and wonderful, yet I felt so calm and in control. My body was made for this – there was no pian now. I knew my baby was coming and I reached down to feel. I could feel baby’s head but couldn’t quite understand it at the time. The midwife must have heard my vocalisations change and she came in to check on us. There was a small amount of meaningless conversation and then she said she could see baby’s hair – I think it took her by surprise, nut it was no surprise to Becky and me.
Calls were made to fill the pool and Becky dutifully obliged. I found it very difficult to break out of my zone to get off the loo, despite desperately wanting to and a sharp word from the midwife was all that was needed. I briefly went to all fours on the bed until the pool was full enough, and then as soon as it was ready I leapt over the side. Tightenings had been back to back with barely any gaps up until this point, but as soon as I sank my belly below the water I was gifted a few seconds between each one to refocus. I could feel baby’s head descending and slipping back a few times between tightenings. Then the midwife announced two more pushes and baby would be here! “One for the head and one for the body” she said. With the next push baby’s head arrived, and with the next came her shoulders and body – I felt her swim out of me) felt her shoulders wiggle free and her legs kick away. Magical. I couldn’t reach her easily from my position on my knees, so the midwife caught her and I turned around ad was handed my beautiful baby! A girl, Eliabeth, born at 3.14am. She didn’t cry, she didn’t need to, she just looked at me and gently blinked. A perfect undisturbed, gentle birth.” She doesn’t know she’s been born,” said the midwife softly, “she thinks we’ve all come inside to be with her.” I was elated and experienced the natural high was expecting. “I could do that again and again.” I exclaimed. My husband came closer to meet her, tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. “Could I have had her at home I asked?” “Yes, no problem,” came the reply and I swelled with emotion – I had done it. I had birthed my baby easily, in the most natural way possible, without any intervention. There are no words to describe my joy both at the time, and now recalling it again.
When Becky and I met, it was like a meeting of souls – we instantly became friends. Throughout everything Becky held the space for me to birth as I wanted, she protected me from unnecessary noise and chatter, so I could listen to my body and have the positive birth experience I so desired. She was quiet, gentle, but fiercely positively supportive. She shares my belief that birth is a completely natural process and the way to let this happen is to simply be present, quietly observe and encourage as needed. In the antenatal period she gave me great confidence in my body’s ability and affirmed all my feelings. She got to know me as an individual and it felt like I was the only person in the world to her throughout my pregnancy, birth and postnatal period. She was essential to my birth story and although I am sure I could have done it without her, I absolutely wouldn’t have wanted to! If I am blessed with more children, I hope they will be born at home with Becky by my side. Thank you Becky, from the bottom of my her – the difference you make to women’s lives is immeasurable, the world would be empty without you in it.
Postscript
It is impossible to express in words how grateful we are for everything you have done for us. We will always consider you as being a friend in our lives and we will ensure Lizzie grows up knowing about you and how you helped bring her into the world. There are many things I could not have done without you. THANK YOU. All our love, Ailsa, Andy and Lizzie 2019.
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